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专题:2025商界木兰年会

  调节好平时的压力,让它变成“动力”,而非“病历”。

  文|《中国企业家》记者谭丽平

  编辑|张昊

  图片来源|中企图库

  4月18日~19日,由《中国企业家》杂志社主办的2025(第十七届)商业木兰年会在北京召开。首都医科大学附属北京胸科医院精神心理科主任医师庞宇在“导师大课”环节,讲述了心理学如何赋能女性企业家的压力管理。

  庞宇演讲的核心要点如下:

  1.无论头部、心脏、背部的疼痛,不要忽视这些是由于我们的压力造成的可能性。

  2.不只是躯体健康,我们也要关注心理健康。

  3.持续不断的慢性压力,往往比突如其来的巨大压力更可怕。

  4.中医里有“望闻问切”,西医“视触扣听”,我们心理学在管理压力时叫“静动按听”。

  5.当我们随着年龄的增长,通过视觉、嗅觉、听觉、味觉、触觉,了解周围的事情越来越多,自我对话感知的能力反而下降了。

  以下为演讲实录(有删减):

  我今天演讲的题目叫“断续之间的智慧之美”,讲述用心理学赋能女性企业家压力管理的策略。

  这里我给大家放了一张图片,大家只需要盯住一个点看。有的人看到这张图在运动,有的人看到是静止的,那么第一个问题来了,谁的压力更大?没错,看到动得快的,要比动得慢的嘉宾此刻压力更大一点。

  大家也不要担心,每个人或多或少会有一些压力。比如今天降温了、堵车了,但这些压力不会对生活造成影响,反而有一些适度的压力会更好。经常有人说,哪里有压力哪里就有动力,能够去调动我们的免疫力。我认为这话说得非常好,但是它后面还有一句话,一不小心压力可能转化成“病历”。

  所以今天的话题就是通过心理学去调节好诸位平时的压力,能够让它变成“动力”,而非“病历”。

  当我们压力大的时候,身体可能会出现一些“预警”。举几个例子,比如很多人有压力的时候会头痛,这是由压力带来的躯体不适。它在心理层面是表达了我们对自己的一种“不满”,对自己的状态、所说、所做的不满意,最终心理上的需求通过头痛表现出来。

  大家都知道心脏是红色、热血的,它代表了我们的“爱”,代表了血液的一种感觉。有患者找我们说:压力大,喘不上来气,感觉人快“过去”了,到急诊以后看到医生,突然感觉心里踏实了、心率就降下来了。这是心理学当中非常典型的严重焦虑,叫做“惊恐障碍发作”,这是从心脏的功能展现出来的。

  这跟爱有什么关系?心理学家研究,往往人的一些焦虑表现,是想引起别人注意的一种方式,其实是渴望别人对他们关爱。我之前接诊了一个孩子,她说希望身边人不要总只关注她的吃、喝、住、行和学习、容貌,希望更多有心灵上的一些交流。在座的各位也是一样,一旦我们有了点小焦虑,不要单单觉得是压力的问题,或许是需要家里人或者身边人对你有一些关注。

  我们有时候会背部不舒服,从生理学的角度讲,可能是伏案时间太长了,有一点肌肉劳损。但从心理学角度,后背代表了我们的一些肌肉,同样也意味着我们是需要休息、需要被支撑的心理需求。无论头部、心脏、背部的疼痛,不要忽视这些是由于我们的压力造成的可能性。不只是躯体健康,我们也要关注心理健康。

  今天时间有限,我们尝试让大家在没有心理学知识基础的前提下,能短时间内学会管理我们的心理,这就要从大标题“断与续”之间找到管理压力的智慧。

  “断”和“续”到底是什么呢?我们先讲一个橡皮筋的故事,大家看我手头的一根橡皮筋,很结实,你给它一个特别大的用力,它是弄不断的,而且很快会由于弹性恢复,变回跟原来一样的长度。但如果我们给它一个力,持续拉扯一分钟,这个橡皮筋回弹之后至少比原来变长了一公分。这当中包含一个哲理:持续不断的慢性压力,往往比突如其来的巨大压力更可怕。

  汶川地震时,我去当地支援,发现很多老百姓并没有想象中心理压力那么巨大。因为他们有一种心理上的弹性,或叫“心理资本”。平时储备得很好,突然需要它拿出“一大笔”出来时,仍然还能够维持。而我们在平时的工作、学习和生活当中,这种突然的巨大压力并不太多,反而可能很难逃离一些持续不断的慢性压力,因此平时要管理好这些慢性压力。

  其实很简单,我们只需要把这种慢性压力阻断就可以了,也就是我们说的“断”字,而不要让它一直持续存在,所以叫“断续之间”。

  怎么做?一静、二动、三按、四听。大家知道中医里有“望闻问切”,西医“视触扣听”,我们心理学在管理压力时叫“静动按听”。

  静,有点类似于腹式呼吸,吸满气,让肚子鼓起来,吐气的时候呼得干干净净,肚子扁下去,这是一个很好的放松方式。但我们的流程有几个核心要点:把与外界交流的通道暂时关闭,至少视觉关闭。注意力集中在你的口唇部,在吸气的时候吸很满,胸廓、腹部要拢起来。同时湿润口唇,吸气的时候用口腔,因为外面的空气比湿润后的口唇部分温度要低,会有一种凉凉的感觉,我们的注意力就集中于此。

  这是我们与自己的对话。每个人呱呱坠地时,情绪表达是天生的,小婴儿饿了会哭,妈妈抱着喂喂奶、拍一拍就不哭了。但有一件“不幸”的事情,当我们随着年龄的增长,通过视觉、嗅觉、听觉、味觉、触觉,了解周围的事情越来越多,自我对话感知的能力反而下降了。当我们有了压力时,其实是觉察不到的。也就是往往这种慢性的压力已经根植在身上了,但是我们却是不知道的。

  这个“内化于静”的呼吸,是在跟自己对话,可以让我们很好地去觉察情绪和压力,不单单只阻断了压力在我们身体的产生。按照循证医学的研究,大家每天练习10~15分钟,大约四周时间,更快的只需两周,你对于自己压力和身体传递的信号会有一个明显的感知。

  我们不能只静,生命在于运动,我们叫“外化于动”,要配合一些动作动起来。有时大家有压力或紧张,会选择转移注意力,这没有问题。但希望效果更好就需要一个媒介,往往要通过做一些事情去转移。比如保健操,做下来也就5分钟,当压力大、生气、焦虑、愤怒、控制不了自己情绪时做一下,就能从情绪的漩涡中抽离出来,会发现柳暗花明又一村、船到桥头自然直。不要做压力的“奴隶”。

  按,就需要中西医结合了,也就是心理医生改良的中医按摩情绪疗法。比如压力大,感觉害怕、恐惧,可以按一按“百会穴”。两个手指顺时针八拍、逆时针八拍,总共可以做四个八拍。之后,把右手放到我们的左胸前,闭上眼睛对自己有一个积极心理暗示:我现在虽然有一些恐惧,但是完全可以接受,我能够管理好情绪。积极心理暗示的同时,一定要感受右手放在左胸前时,可能有一股股温暖流动的感觉。

  这一部分是通过按摩穴位让我们放松下来,同时给自己积极的暗示。

  最后一个是听,也就是音乐减压之力。在《黄帝内经》当中就提了,宫、商、角、徵、羽,五音疗五疾。看汉字“药”的繁体字,就表明“音乐+草药”是老祖宗治病的“药品”。当我们有压力和挥之不去的情绪问题,可以通过音乐来减压。但这不是随随便便就来的,用不好了会越听越烦,所以我们要尊重科学、有的放矢去选择。

  选择什么样的音乐?音乐有三要素:响度、音频和音色,不同的音乐、不同的音色会有不同的情绪,会给我们带来不同的感受。低音厚实深沉,内容丰富,情意绵长;中音清澈透明,有穿透力,能量十足;高音灵动活泼,轻松愉悦,有感染力。

  紧张不安、焦虑烦闷时,可选用调性平和、旋律优美抒情、清淡幽雅、节奏平稳缓慢、速度徐缓宽舒、音色柔美、力度偏弱的乐曲,如《烛影摇红》《平湖秋月》《雨打芭蕉》、《春江花月夜》《渔舟唱晚》《梦幻曲》等;缺乏自信的人可以听贝多芬《第五钢琴协奏曲》、瓦格纳《汤豪舍》、奥涅格《太平洋231》;莫扎特《第四十交响曲》、西贝柳斯《悲伤圆舞曲》,所营造的兴奋激昂的情绪和热烈活跃的气氛,可以鼓舞人摆脱消极低沉;失眠可以听《摇篮曲》等具有助眠效果的音乐等。

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