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  近日,在抖音上线的家庭访谈实录节目《家有“网”事》引发网友共鸣。资深媒体人李小萌与华南师范大学心理学院教授攸佳宁首次合作,聚焦青少年用网问题,邀请家住朝阳区的可乐妈妈分享他们的家庭“网”事。可乐妈妈曾因孩子使用手机的问题而焦虑不已,在她眼里,10岁的孩子可乐使用手机的时间太久,排斥其他娱乐方式,学习时有不满,是沉迷手机的表现;而在可乐眼里,自己并没有因为使用手机而拒绝写作业,也没有因为控制使用时间而大发脾气,算不上沉迷网络。

  随着“数字原住民”逐渐长大,相似的矛盾开始在越来越多的家庭中发生。在网络平台中,“不给看手机就不吃饭,还闹情绪”“孩子周末因为玩手机与父母产生争执,一气之下竟离家出走”等话题的讨论时有发生。在数字化时代,未成年人使用手机的需求和尺度应该如何把握,而家长对此产生的焦虑情绪是否有疏解的途径?

  对“小网民”的监督难平衡

  就读五年级的可乐接触手机的过程在“数字原住民”的成长中颇为常见。

  可乐妈妈说,手机在可乐很小的时候就介入了她的生活。“小时候孩子不喜欢吃饭,所以就在哄她吃饭的时候播一些动画片。到了一年级,可乐开始有喜欢的网络游戏和想看的内容,玩手机的时间也拉长了。所以我开始限制她玩手机的时间,但是后来孩子还是为了玩手机而敷衍对待作业。”

  事实上,可乐妈妈和很多家长交流过未成年人使用手机的问题,并且普遍有了一个共识:“手机已经成为一种学习和交流的工具,在各种社交场景中都会使用,因此杜绝孩子使用手机并不现实。”

  与此同时,《第6次中国未成年人互联网使用情况调查报告(简版)》显示,当前超九成未成年网民会利用互联网进行学习,并有超三成认为上网对学习很有帮助。超三成未成年网民表示,会在网上发布笔记或短视频、会发弹幕、会玩网络流行梗和表情包,经常在网上消费等,近六成未成年网民经常在网上聊天,过去一年在网上消费过。

  “孩子之间有社交需求,在微信中交流,更多的孩子私下关系会更好。而且孩子们的社交平台和网络游戏会相互关注,他们认为这是一种很酷的行为。”可乐妈妈说。

  缓解矛盾需要花心思

  业内普遍认为,家长作为最有能力了解、管理、保护未成年人情况和行为的监护人,是未成年人保护的第一道防线。然而,身处第一道防线的家长往往没有很多行之有效的解决办法。

  在可乐妈妈看来,量变转向质变的节点是可乐偷偷在网络游戏中充值。“当时我对可乐说必须制定一个使用手机的规则,但是执行规则的时候她相当抵触。”可乐妈妈表示,“随着时间推移,可乐开始不断试探我的底线,我们的矛盾也越来越深,也爆发过激烈的争吵。”

  制定规则之初,可乐妈妈也曾借鉴其他家长的经验,建立一些奖惩措施。“比如说孩子完成得好,就给予她一些奖励,如果完成得不好,就取消周末玩手机的时间。但是奖惩并不管用,只会让我们的矛盾越来越深。”可乐妈妈表示。

  然而对于规则的制定,李小萌发现,孩子付出的信任要远大于家长。“家长很少相信孩子可以只玩半小时手机,所以也很少给孩子选择的权利。”李小萌认为,“家长不应该用自己的道德判断来解释孩子的行为,并因此忽略实际沟通中的困难点。”

  在节目中,华南师范大学心理学院教授攸佳宁给可乐妈妈提供了一个思路。攸佳宁认为,家长在执行规则的同时应该给孩子提供选择和提醒。“比如使用手机的时间只剩下五分钟时,家长应该有意识地提醒,剩余的时间不够重新开始一局游戏,可以利用这个时间回复同学的信息,或者看一个几秒的短视频。”

  “孩子认可我以沟通和提醒的方式管控,虽然偶尔还是会偷偷玩,但是该收手机时还是会配合,使用手机的时长和频率都有了好转。”可乐妈妈表示。

  另一种解决方法则是在使用手机时培养孩子的兴趣爱好。可乐妈妈发现,孩子逐渐通过短视频和网络信息学习绘画。将娱乐工具转变成学习工具以后,孩子关闭手机、动手实践的时间更长了,玩网络游戏和短视频的时间相对少了。

  如何安抚担忧的家长

  但是,家长对于未成年人沉迷手机和网络的焦虑不会轻易消失。

  一方面,家长的焦虑来自对于未知未来的恐惧。可乐妈妈坦言,她从前会为升学的相关信息感到焦虑,因此不希望孩子因为沉迷手机和网络而影响未来的学习和就业。“在这一方面,很多营销号和育儿号会放大家长的焦虑。”

  另一方面,家长同样担忧网络中暗藏的不良信息会影响未成年人的行为和价值观。“孩子刷到的一些游戏攻略都包含不良信息。”可乐妈妈表示。

  不当使用手机有可能促使未成年人处于危险境地。2024年,最高人民法院发布了涉妇女儿童案件情况显示,侵害妇女儿童犯罪行为呈上升趋势,涉网络犯罪问题突出,网络不良信息侵蚀问题不容忽视。

  面对这种情况,未成年人更需要来自家庭的监护和引导。在节目中不难看出,可乐对于网络社交表现出很强的防范意识,在网络平台上拒绝透露真实的年龄、住址、支付信息、照片等个人隐私信息。“是妈妈教我的。”可乐坦言。

  但是仅依靠家庭教育并不足以构建起完善的防止网络沉迷体系。可乐妈妈认为,在防止未成年人沉迷手机和网络的过程中,网络平台应该承担起相应的责任。“抖音平台做得相对好一些。在打开应用时,页面会自动弹出未成年人模式的选项,这样既可以强制孩子使用,也可以及时提醒家长,在孩子使用手机之前主动、人为地制造一个相对安全的信息环境。”可乐妈妈表示。

  当然,防止未成年人沉迷手机和网络还需要更多力量协同合作。“相关主管部门应当继续推动多方协同落实,可以通过典型案例等方式,进一步划定规则的应用边界。不仅如此,还需要将网络平台和手机厂商在未成年人保护领域的实践进行总结和提炼,形成具有行业共识和可行性的标准化规范,更加充分地向家长宣传,更好地加强防护。”业内人士认为。(李濛)

  来源:北京晚报

  4月24日,台盟中央两岸海洋文化交流活动跃涌津门行参访团走进天津海运职业学院,体验天津特色小吃与非遗。

  从糖画到煎饼果子,从茶汤到面塑,校园内“津味”美食文化展区内展品琳琅满目,香味、文化味扑面而来。

  厦门大学特约研究员傅崐成手捏糖画,表示不舍得吃掉。他对记者说,天津不仅是港口城市,也是非物质文化遗产的荟萃之地,令人惊艳。(黄欣欣制作岳子岩)

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